Banterer

Sponge Cake with Cream Filling

1/30/2013

The Twinkie was introduced in 1930.  Imagine the original baker with his stacked bunch of ripe bananas. Working til the morning light, creating a survivor for the ages. They survived the tallyman who rationed the bananas during WWII, by switching from banana to a vanilla cream filling.  There were rumors the golden cake treat could survive a nuclear holocaust, but that one remains untested.  While their maker has passed, and their hostess has undergone bankruptcy, it has come time for Twinkie to move on to the highest bidder. (Rogers, 2012)

Twinkie the kid won’t be riding away with Hurst Capital LLP, as they were nothing more than the stalking horse bidder.  They were given the opportunity to set the bidding bar that others couldn’t bid below, but didn’t stay in the race long.  The leaders in the bidding war are a joint venture between Apollo Global Management LLC and C. Dean Metropoulos & Co. The deal’s reported to be for about $400 million, and may be finalized soon. (Staff, 2013)

C. Dean Metropoulos is best known for their Papst Blue Ribbon Beer. While it would be tempting to have the two together, Twinkie is not the only cake in the deal.  Ding Dongs, and Ho Hos are said to be the other popular snack cakes included with this deal. While Happy Ho Ho, and King Ding Don are not in the news as often as Twinkie the kid, the yummy snack cake they represented will also survive.

What brought on the Hostess end was a standoff from the teamsters and bakers unions. Hostess had emerged from a previous bankruptcy due to the sacrifices made by employees. With the offer of a pay cut and slashed benefits on the line, employees made the ultimate sacrifice – their jobs. (Journal, 2012)  When it’s all said and done Hostess is being divided up among many bread and snack buyers, and is expected to take in approximately $1 billion in the sale of their assets. (Staff, 2013)

With the original news of the crumbling Hostess Empire, folks snatched the loot up off the shelves to ensure they got one last Twinkie. Much like the movie Die Hard, Twinkies will never die. “Sugar enriched flour, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, polysorbate 60, and yellow dye number five--just everything a growing boy needs,” says Sargent Powell to John McClane in the “Diehard” of 1988.  Die Hard number five opens on Valentine’s Day, 2013.  By the time it’s released to DVD in late March, you ought to be able to enjoy it with a Twinkie, only lacking the hostess.


Works Cited
Journal, D. (2012, 01 11). Read the Teamsters Statement on the Hostess Bankruptcy. Retrieved 01 30, 2013, from The Wall Street Journal: http://blogs.wsj.com
Rogers, K. (2012, 11 15). The Hostes Twinkie: 1930-2012. Retrieved 01 30, 2013, from theguardian: http://www.guardian.co.uk
Staff, R. (2013, 01 29). Reports: Apollo Global, C. Dean Metropoulos Near Deal to buy some Hostess Brands. Retrieved 01 30, 2013, from RTT News: http://www.rttnews.com

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Suit after Suit

1/16/2013

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“Finally, in conclusion, let me say just this.” - Peter Sellers (1925 - 1980)

Jan. 16, 2013 - Obama proclaims this day Religious Freedom Day. Mr. President reminds us that the freedom of religion is not only a U.S. right, but one that should be universal. The right to openly practice faith is a fundamental building block to peaceful relations. (Obama, 2013)

We shouldn’t have to take from one to give to another. It does seem to play out that way when it comes to gay rights and freedom of religion. In Maryland, one trolley owner closes his doors rather than allowing himself to become a legal case. He didn’t want to compromise his Christian values by serving same-sex couples. At the same time he didn’t want to give them a reason to sue him for discrimination, so in turn he closed his doors. Other wedding vender’s who have found themselves in such a predicament, chose discrimination and lost. (Cox, 2012) It’s like watching a wrecking machine aim for a house, but instead the entire picture crumbles.

Obama has been accused himself of restricting religious freedoms with his healthcare act. There are many lawsuits that claim providing birth control to woman is a violation of religious freedom. (Rovner, 2013) Taking the rattle off a snake to give to a crying baby isn’t the best option for everyone. There are those who’d prefer not to have the baby in the first place. All the religious folks are trying to say is not on my dollar.

When he straightened the painting, he found the room tilts. Across the pond, the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) found favor of the employers in terms of disciplining an officiator and a counselor who did not wish to serve same-sex couples. Both claimed to request the option not to marry or counsel based on their own religious beliefs. “Termination” was the answer to their question, and the ECHR said, “No violation.” Gay people are gaining equality, but the Christian Legal Centre feels their plaintiffs are losing their religion. (Davenport, 2013)

There is the case of the one who flew a kite that caught fire on a backyard barbeque then burned down the house it flew over, yeah that could happen. Hospital officials said that a nurse was not allowed to wear her cross pendent as it could cause injury to her or a patient. It could come in contact with an open wound. The nurse found her employers argument to be ridiculous. The ECHR sided with the hospital. (Davenport, 2013)

In the case of British Airways, the ECHR decided on behalf of the employee. It was as if a new background had been opened, folded it into a neat square, and with a dash of salt they took a bite. Here is how it unfolded. The ECHR decided the employee’s religious rights were more important than British Airways corporate image that the airlines had dismissed her for diminishing. She was suspended in 2006, during a time when British Airways accommodated Sikhism and Muslim religions in terms of dress code, but not the symbolism of Christian or Jews which has since been approved. British PM David Cameron appreciates the court’s decision on this case, as they found in favor of religious freedom. (Davenport, 2013)

The Pink Panthers of NYC became known when they were successfully sued by the one who owned the rights to the “Pink Panther”. A decade later MGM was sued by the heirs of the creator for similar copyright issues. Copyrights much like religion, permits one to publicize their beliefs. So put on a horseshoe, and kick a horse in the ass.

Works Cited
Cox, E. (2012, 12 27). Trolley owner ends wedding business rather than serve same sex couples. Retrieved 01 16, 2013, from The Washington Post: http://articles.washingtonpost.com
Davenport, C. (2013, 01 15). European court rejects three UK faith bias complaints. Retrieved 01 16, 2013, from Rueters: http://www.reuters.com
Obama, B. (2013, 01 16). Presidential Proclamation -- Religious Freedom Day. Retrieved 01 16, 2013, from White House: http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/01/16/presidential-proclamation-religious-freedom-day
Rovner, J. (2013, 01 11). Businesses Sue Government Over Birth Control Mandate. Retrieved 01 16, 2013, from NPR: http://www.npr.org

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Golden Egg

1/2/2013

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The big banks have been hit with several lawsuits over the last few years in regards to lending abuses surrounding the mortgages they drew up or the homes they foreclosed on.   The largest thus far was a settlement between the five largest banks and both the Justice Department and Department of Housing and Urban Development for $26 Billion in early 2012. A current settlement for $10 Billion is in the works between banking regulators and 14 banks, and is said to be over foreclosure abuses. The SEC and Justice Department may engage in further settlements over the mortgage assets that were packaged in such a way that they burst during the financial crisis. (Silver-Greenberg, 2012)

So goes the fable of the goose that laid the golden egg, in search of quick riches, the steady income that was a sure thing is lost when greed enters the room. In the case of the duck that laid the golden egg, Daffy took the credit then dealt with the racketeers, who saw him as better odds than an illegal bet. The henchmen beat the rancher, and took his property (Daffy). The duck who originally took credit that he was undeserving of was the one the cohorts looked to for a payout.

Daffy jumped down the laundry chute midway through his five minute time period to produce an egg; he gained a new form still lacking the payoff. Mortgage lenders are once again on the make with higher profits from mortgages pooled and sold as bonds to investors. The profit margin is huge for lenders even though interest rates are much lower than they were before the housing bust, the low rates that lenders pay out on bonds allows money to be made. Less competition in the market gives the banks that survived a chance to benefit from the new mortgage profits. (Eavis, With Rates Low, Banks Increase Mortgage Profit, 2012)

They’re grabbing for profits, and back in the game looking to regulators for a safety shield. They want protection against consumer lawsuits. To appease them, lawmakers have developed the “qualified mortgage.” The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau would like the “qualified mortgage” to be available to many, not just those with great credit. (Eavis, Banks Seek a Shield in Mortgage Rules, 2012) A “qualified mortgage” is not one extended to a consumer who is credit worthy, but rather a mortgage in which the paper work has all the t’s crossed and I’s dotted. All in all, they want less liability for the risk they create.

“No egg – so long, pal.” A duck with a gun to his head can do some amazing things, so what do you know he laid an egg. Once the cartons are filled, it’ll be business as usual again. (Corporation, 1950)

Works Cited
Corporation, W. B. (Director). (1950). Golden Yeggs [Motion Picture].
Eavis, P. (2012, 12 17). Banks Seek a Shield in Mortgage Rules. Retrieved 01 02, 2012, from New York Times: http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/banks-seek-a-shield-in-mortgage-rules/?smid=tw-share
Eavis, P. (2012, August 8). With Rates Low, Banks Increase Mortgage Profit. Retrieved January 02, 2013, from The New York Times: http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/08/08/with-rate-twist-banks-increase-mortgage-profit/
Silver-Greenberg, J. (2012, 12 31). Settlement Expected on Past Abuses in Home Loans. Retrieved 01 02, 2013, from New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/31/business/settlement-expected-with-banks-over-home-loans.html?_r=0

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Sponge Cake with Cream Filling

Suit after Suit

Golden Egg

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