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Sponge Cake with Cream Filling

1/30/2013

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The Twinkie was introduced in 1930.  Imagine the original baker with his stacked bunch of ripe bananas.  Working til the morning light, creating a survivor for the ages.  They survived the tallyman who rationed the bananas during WWII, by switching from banana to a vanilla cream filling.  There were rumors the golden cake treat could survive a nuclear holocaust, but that one remains untested.  While their maker has passed, and their hostess has undergone bankruptcy, it has come time for Twinkie to move on to the highest bidder. (Rogers, 2012)

Twinkie the kid won’t be riding away with Hurst Capital LLP, as they were nothing more than the stalking horse bidder.  They were given the opportunity to set the bidding bar that others couldn’t bid below, but didn’t stay in the race long.  The leaders in the bidding war are a joint venture between Apollo Global Management LLC and C. Dean Metropoulos & Co.  The deal’s reported to be for about $400 million, and may be finalized soon. (Staff, 2013)

C. Dean Metropoulos is best known for their Papst Blue Ribbon Beer.  While it would be tempting to have the two together, Twinkie is not the only cake in the deal.  Ding Dongs, and Ho Hos are said to be the other popular snack cakes included with this deal.  While Happy Ho Ho, and King Ding Don are not in the news as often as Twinkie the kid, the yummy snack cake they represented will also survive.  
 
What brought on the Hostess end was a standoff from the teamsters and bakers unions.  Hostess had emerged from a previous bankruptcy due to the sacrifices made by employees.  With the offer of a pay cut and slashed benefits on the line, employees made the ultimate sacrifice – their jobs. (Journal, 2012)  When it’s all said and done Hostess is being divided up among many bread and snack buyers, and is expected to take in approximately $1 billion in the sale of their assets. (Staff, 2013)

With the original news of the crumbling Hostess Empire, folks snatched the loot up off the shelves to ensure they got one last Twinkie.  Much like the movie Die Hard, Twinkies will never die.  “Sugar enriched flour, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, polysorbate 60, and yellow dye number five--just everything a growing boy needs,” says Sargent Powell to John McClane in the “Diehard” of 1988.  Die Hard number five opens on Valentine’s Day, 2013.  By the time it’s released to DVD in late March, you ought to be able to enjoy it with a Twinkie, only lacking the  hostess.  
   

Works Cited
Journal, D. (2012, 01 11). Read the Teamsters Statement on the Hostess Bankruptcy. Retrieved 01 30, 2013, from The Wall Street Journal: http://blogs.wsj.com
Rogers, K. (2012, 11 15). The Hostes Twinkie: 1930-2012. Retrieved 01 30, 2013, from theguardian:  http://www.guardian.co.uk
Staff, R. (2013, 01 29). Reports: Apollo Global, C. Dean Metropoulos Near Deal to buy some Hostess Brands. Retrieved 01 30, 2013, from RTT News: http://www.rttnews.com

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    My banter was on current affairs and ran from 2011 - 2016. I currently enjoy writing satire and horror shorts.

    I chose themes to run against each current event to bring some entertainment to my Banters. I began writing the banter in February 2011, and wrote my last in February 2016.

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